i need...

happiness well defined

i just want...

cause today in bahasa

michael jackson dead

and...

t.o.d.a.y

because...

tough love

of relationship, aim and heart- part deux

credits

layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: ohhspontaneityy
stocks: _excentric_

'



when a friend asked me what i need in a man, Usher's 'I need a girl', comes to mind.



i need a girl to ride, ride, ride
i need a girl to make my wife
i need a girl who's mine oh mine
i need a girl in my life

that's why i need me a girl that be true to me
know bout the game, and know how to do to me
without a girl on my side, shit'll ruin me
forget the world girl, it's just you and me
now let's ride

but that's Usher, mind you.

what i need in a man is someone who is calm without being passive.
strong without being agressive.
a family man without being a sofa potato.
a decent heart in a healthy body.


is that a tall order?




'

'




when the wind blows a different direction, do you go against it, or tag along with it?


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i choose the latter. and i'm not regretting that decision of mine. it feels good to have this feeling again. definitely. and seriously, i thought i won't be able to experience it again. how wrong i was.

oh well. like what they've said. when the time is right, you'll just know it. and the time IS right.

ok, enough monday nonsense from me.

i'm thinking of changing my blog design. hmm... i want something simple. yet sweet. and yet, i'm just too lazy. maybe later when i'm not that lazy.

and yes, before i forget. the batam spa retreat was the best. will upload pictures and write a post about it soon.

when i'm not too lazy.

till then.





'

'



to be alone tonight

to take a little breather

cause lately all we do is fight

and everytime it cuts me deeper

cause somethings change

although it may be strange

and its taking its toil on me




'

'



saya amat kagen. ngapa ada yang bicara, 'oh, saya amat senang jika kamu senang', tetapi, walhal, bukan begitu? ngapa ada yang berasa iri sama kesenangan/ kebahagian orang lain?

iya, saya tahu. inikan dikata manusia. selagi kita dinamakan manusia, ada aja perasaan iri gitu. tetapi, saya amat terkejut dengan sesetengah manusia, yang ingin menggali dalam lobang rahsia itu, dan sanggup membuat apa jua untuk mengetahui rahsia.

bukan saya ingin berahsia. tetapi saya pikir, sesetengah perkara itu, ada masa yang baik itu dinyatakan. lagipun, bukan kah ini hidup saya. saya bukan seorang celebriti. nggak usah saya gembor-gemborkan hal peribadi saya, begitu.

dan bila saya udah sedia, akan saya nyatakan kepada semua. saya nggak suka menghebor-heborkan sesuatu perkara yang belum ada kepastian. as simple as that.

p.s: jika lo ingat lo lebih pandai, lebih pengetahuan dari gue, dalam semua hal, lo datang jumpe gue dan bukan merahsiakan diri di sebalik SMS.

get a life, cause i have mine.




'

'



i woke up this morning, listening to the bbc news, repeating over and over again that the king of pop is dead.

'billie jean, rock my world...'

the news rocked my world indeed. am i still dreaming? did i heard it right? you're talking about the king of pop here. the king of pop.

i quickly changed channel, which confirmed that bbc news. yes, he is indeed dead. yes, he suffered a cardiac arrest. yes, the paramedics were unable to revive him. yes, he's only 50 and he's pretty young to go away. yes, michael jackson is dead.

'beat it...' and accept it.

but i can't accept it. i grew up listening to him. i followed his news. i dig his life stories like how i will dig my fingers into that pint of ben & jerry's, just to get the good part.

his songs motivated me to move on when i had that occassional failures in life. i cried when he was being charged for child molestation. i was angry when people accused him of being a bad dad, showing pictures of him holding on to his son in an uncompromising manner, on the daily papers.

when he decided to go into a recluse, i prayed that he would find his inner peace. that he would find what he has been looking for.

only, i didn't realised that he would passed on after finding that missing pieces of his life.

'ben, the two of us need look no more
we've both found what we were looking for'

rest in peace, michael. you'll always be remembered as that pop who rocked the world.

amin.



and this morning, Onyx wouldn't understand when i feed him with tears in my eyes.



'

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there's no post update



'

'



tried to do some work today. 'tried' being the main operative work. i reckon it'll do me some good to finish up all those unfinished work. so i won't be facing with lotsa back logs later.

but i soon realised that it's quite futile. for i can't concentrate. before i knew it, i was playing FB games. hah. talk about being productive.

anyways, it was fun yesterday. they decided to surprise me with movies and popcorns and coke. hah. how funny. love the company. and we decided to do it again this sunday. more movies. more popcorns. more company. more banterings. well, i will definitely have something to look forward to comes sunday. hee...

Onyx doesn't like it of course. hah.

i'm beginning to enjoy Onyx's company. although he's not much of a company, really. except when he's hungry, he will not even bother to acknowledge me. he will of course perched on his 'royal highness' cushion and 'supervise' me doing my stuffs. only when he's hungry, will he removed his lazy ass from that cushion, pawed his way to my leg, and purred softly. an indication that his 'royal' tummy needs some 'royal' food.

i like this quiet that he's been providing me. being a company, yet not being one at the same time. and i think he's beginning to enjoy my company too. this morning, he greeted me with those magical grey eyes. *faints*

ok, enough about Onyx.

some friends just got back from a trip to Lombok, and from their description, i think Lombok will be a good place to do my trip comes August. it'll definitely be different than Bali. and best thing is, you get to do similar stuffs as Bali.

something to consider maybe?




'

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there's no goodnight message yesterday

should you be worried?



'

::an outlet to rant and rave::
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::an avenue to express tender words::

::.lili18sg@gmail.com.::






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